I was in the kitchen a couple of days ago, minding my own business, making myself a sandwich. 

Now, the exact kind of sandwich I had wouldn't normally ever come up as a topic of discussion or importance.  I think.  However, let me state for the record that in this case I was using up some of the produce that is slowly turning bad in our fridge crisper, so I chose to make a "bunwich" with mayo, tomato and pickle. 

Me - being me - bites into this wonderful mix of fantastic and fresh flavourful delight when the juices go squirting out of the bun.  I manage to save the floor from getting soiled by ensuring I block the spill with the big toe on my right foot. 

 The dog - being the dog - happily enjoys licking my sock for the next five minutes. 

 "You're a crazy dog!"

 "Yes," the dog almost replies.  "But you're the moron that made a tomato and pickle sandwich with mayonaisse."